It has been 3 years since their murders. 3 years and I don’t feel any closer to getting answers then when I started. And it is getting harder to remember them, remember the little things, the smiles, and the laughter…the family. Another cigarette and back to the paperwork on my desk. No smoking in government buildings, screw that, I disabled the smoke detectors years ago, and my bosses look the other way because I am damn good at my job – I get results.
But today I just can’t seem to focus. I know why…today is her birthday. Today my little girl would have turned 13. I look over at my holstered gun…it would be so easy…I could see them again, be with them. But I wouldn’t have answers, and the bastards that took them would still be out there.
The ringing phone startles me back to the present.
Blocked call, of course, isn’t they always? I answer, something about the ‘Church of the Mourningstar’ and domestic terrorist at the airport in 6 hours. Not much to go on but I have heard of the Church, they are in my files. Some wacked-out satanic church, “Lucifer is the one true God”, and all that crap. Grab my guns, log out, tell my assistant I am going mobile. I have plenty of time but I want to get there a couple of hours early. It is a big airport and I want to leverage off the local security guys.
Best lead I get, some punk kid from security calls me, and he has spotted 3 suspicious characters at one of the gates. I check them out. Geez, I feel like it is a bad movie, one guy must be over 7’, and the other looks like a wannabe mobster and the third a coked-up shrink. No ways are these guys with the Church but it is all I’ve got…and I am bored. I continue watching them.
Hmm, another player in the game. Some strung-out looking, bad red hair dye job, pale, Goth-looking chick is watching me watch them. Or the other way around. Either way, she isn’t very good at this.
Two of them make me pretty quickly, not the dumb looking one of course, but I am not trying to hide. The security guy who tries to stop me from smoking gets the badge and Homeland Security crap; I make sure the Terrible Trio see the badge flash. I use the rent-a-cop to shield me from Goth-girl, no sense tipping my hand to her. Fuck, she spooked and is running! All of us are onto her and start chasing. Andre the Giant there takes the lead and I let him, man parts through a crowd like Moses splitting the Red Sea!
People are panicking so I flash the badge, yelling “Homeland Security, emergency, everyone outa the way!”
Ogre-boy grabs Skank-girl just as I catch up. She is struggling but this guy’s arms look like tree trunks, so we should be good. Now her, I can see her with the Church, need to question her. She needs to calm down, so I punch her, maybe I can knock her out. No good, she is stronger than she looks. Crap, she slips outa Big Boy’s hands and leg sweeps me right onto my ass. That hurt, dammit! No way am I letting her get away. As she starts to bolt, I put a bullet through her leg. Crap, shoulda used the back-up pistol, I blow half a leg away…but at least she isn’t running.
I got security calling EMTs and the shrink works some mojo and keeps her from bleeding out. Impressive, doesn’t even get blood on his suit. I try questioning her but she is out like a light. Light face-slapping doesn’t bring her around. All I got is some sort of tattoo on her I don’t recognize. I think the shrink recognizes it but he claims no. I let the EMTs take her away; tell security to have local PD post security outside her room.
So, to sum it up, these three amigos work for the CIA and are headed for some town in the Ivory Coast of Africa, something about some archaeologists missing at a dig site. Yeah, I know, sounds like a load of crap for CIA but all I have got. That shrink knows something, and I am fresh out of leads and an empty case-load. Washington is no good for me, not today, not her birthday, fuck it, I badge my way onto plane and join them.
Mysterious stewardess served the Big Guy some doctored whiskey, he is gonna live but spends a long time parked in the latrine puking his guts up, and it isn’t pretty. The shrink…Newhart…and I search the plane after we in the air, no mysterious stewardess, she must have bolted after delivering poison and before take-off. Well, I gotta photo on my phone. Strangely enough, she looks a lot like one of my Church suspects, weird.
Africa…well, it is hot and humid…a lot like D.C. during the summer, no biggie. I managed to get some sleep on the plane. The three amigos have a ride waiting so I tag along. They don’t seem to mind. Head out to the dig site, the crime scene. Sure enough, local boys have it cordoned off, I make friends with one, Abidemi, seems like a good cop. He tells me what he knows, which isn’t much, someone up high shut down his investigation before it got started. Interesting.
Looks like every dig site I have seen in a movie, meaning boring and lots of dirt and holes. But their little office hut, now that proves interesting. Place has been ransacked and covered in blood, ritualistic patterns, I have seen them before…in my house! We find some rubbings from an ancient tablet, looks a bit like Cuneiform writing, odd, and a digital voice recorder, some freaky chanting on it and another recording of someone trying to translate this rubbing, badly.
We check out where the tablet was actually recovered. Some mysterious carved symbols that can be moved and a covered door, no budging that puppy. Somehow these stone symbols are the key, I suspect.
Cleaned up at a hotel, meeting Abidemi for dinner, gonna try and get him working for us, find out what he can about who shut him down. Just before dinner Newhart pulls me aside and explains to me what they really do for a living. All that freaky stuff you read about on fringe websites? Strange cults? Monsters? Apparently they are real and these guys deal with it. They call it the Mythos. Somehow I am not surprised; it explains a lot and several things ‘odd’ about the murder of my family now makes sense. I tell the shrink I am in.
Abidemi says the Ambassador from Kenya pulled some strings and shut down the investigation. Makes sense, turns out one of the occult books I collected during my investigations is key, “Africa’s Dark Cults”. Some ancient cult that worships some dude called the Black Pharaoh, it is based out of Kenya but has spread. It also translates that tablet. A ritual sacrifice (isn’t there always one?), earth moves, something awakens, blah, blah. More important, it gives us the key to open that blasted chamber door.
Bed down for the night, I’ve seen enough movies to know not to stir shit up at night, screw that. We hit the chamber in morning after a nice big breakfast. So we barely asleep before something start battering through the door of the hotel room. We get two freaky looking blob things with spears. WTF? I let fly a bullet that seems to have the same effect as if I shot a big pile of Jello, this isn’t starting out well.
Thank god for the big Indian, he pulls out a tomahawk (I kid you not) and cuts one of the damn things in half. Call me impressed! The shrink backs up, prepared to shoot if necessary. The dumb one just stands around gob smacked. Before I can move again, the remaining blob chants some kind of spell, imagine a fat man gargling underwater and you get the idea. Speaking of water, damn thing conjures a fountain of water that jumps down Sasquatch’s throat, trying to drown him.
Okay, now I move, I throw a damn blanket over jelly-baby and light it on fire. Burn baby, burn! It seems to have a better affect than my bullet but it is still up and moving. Okay, so now the dumb one finally makes a move. He frigging pulps the goo with a damn Louisville Slugger, not bad for a dimwit.
Mind you, the fire has spread, smoke detectors are going, and sprinklers are on. The room is officially trashed and the locals think we just managed a weird-ass drug binge. At least they give us another room. Oh yeah, and Bigfoot is fine, he manages to vomit all the water out. Poor guy, between the plane and this, not having a good day.
After a nice big breakfast, on this agency’s tabs, sweet, we head back to the dig. My book was right and the shrink works his mojo and opens the door. So we got a typical spooky-looking tomb, dead archaeologists, except for the lead (strangely enough, she looks like the stewardess and my suspect), 2 broken tablets and the obvious missing one. I get photos of the crime scene and some painting of the ritual. You know the sacrifice thing.
So the doc goes over to check out one of the bodies and I shit you not, the damn thing sits up and starts choking him. Now we have honest to god friggin zombies! So the shrink casts some sort of spell and Indian Joe decapitates a zombie with that damn tomahawk.
You guessed it, the dumb one just stands around again, and I think his brain just takes longer to process stuff. Fuck, a damn zombie manages to grab me too, but no choke hold. Easy enough, I just put a bullet to the head like they do in the movies and it drops back over dead again…minus a head.
So that magic shrink spell conjures a mystical tomahawk and cuts the arm free of the zombie. The hand part is still trying to choke him but the rest is just shuffling like zombies do, kind of like the dumb guy. And now the dumb guy kicks into gear with his bat and knocks the head right off the one-armed zombie. Meantime, jumbo takes out the final one with that tomahawk.
So now we need a plan for what to do next. We also keep the Zombie Hand, what the hell, I think it would be cool crawling around my desktop. Wonder if I can train it to light my cigarettes?